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            Listening to people is a fine art that needs to practiced. If you are like most people, then chances are you often interrupt others while they are still talking. In your defense, you could say that a long-winded, one-sided conversation is the quickest turn off ever, and while this might be true, it just shows basic respect for the other person when we are prepared to listen to them without consistently interrupting their speech.

            A typical example is Larry King. I've been watching a lot of Larry lately after the Michael Jackson fiasco and noticed he always interrupts his guests. I find this very rude. I do realize that he probably has to stick to some fast-paced schedule, but still, his abrupt interruptions are not really cool, nor are they professional.

            As it stands though, none of us ever likes to be interrupted anyway. If it does happen, we tend to feel ignored, overlooked and unappreciated. So how can we still get our message across while becoming a better listener in the process? If you like to try this yourself, then please read on:

            *Take turns
            Failed discussions are almost always interpersonal related. It is during the process of screaming at the kids or arguing with our partner when we fail to listen to what the other party has to say.To help navigate the mental minefield in such a situation it helps to give each person/party its own turn where they can speak for a minute or two, telling what's on their minds while you listen. After their time is up, it's your turn to speak. It works!With a bit of training and a willingness from both sides to give this a fair go you will actually resolve matters a lot faster because instead of trying to out-shout one another to get heard, everyone can have their say in relative peace, allowing easier conflict solving.

            *Remove your prejudice
            How often do we shut off to another person's message just because we don't aGREe with them? We do it all the time. Since we are human, we all have our own opinion on things. That's perfectly fine. But you know as well as I do that everything has two sides. Remember, yin and yang, good and bad, right and wrong!By removing our prejudice to actually listen to what the other person has to say we remove self-imposed brain blockages and open ourselves up for proper communication with the other party. You should try it, because you might be surprised what you learn during the process.

            *Practice eye contact
            A discussion without eye contact is like a body without a soul. Something lacks - a personal touch. If you are guilty of shutting off to other people's talk, could it be because you don't make eye contact with them while talking to one another?Granted, this is hard to do when speaking on the phone, but the next tip might help you in those situations.Practice eye contact when you speak with someone the next time. Initially it might be hard because many people are actually uncomfortable looking into each other's eyes. However, it will be worth your while because in doing so you establish a new intimacy between the people involved and I'm almost willing to guarantee that this will help to form a better bond between you.

            *Show courtesy
            To me, courtesy is a life essential. I was brought up to show courtesy to others. This helps when we speak with people on the phone. However, there are situations when you just can't listen to someones rambling any longer. The worst real life situations are call center calls. In that case, firmly tell them you are not interested to hear what else they have to say and if they ignore your plea, then hang up the phone.

            *Silence is key
            Sometimes, saying nothing says so much more. The messages you tell when you are silent can be read in your body language, so be careful how you hold yourself at the next staff meeting.By being silent and observing what the other person has to say we learn to pick up on their energies and the messages they DON'T speak. This is a GREat tool if you work with people, because you can gain a deeper insight into their personalities by being a better observer. What are your favorite listening tips? Feel free to share, it's your turn to speak.



            一个典型的例子是Larry King。Michael Jackson的惨剧发生后后我看了很多期Larry的节目,发觉他经常打断嘉宾讲话。我认为这是一种很无礼的行为。我想可能他的行程很匆忙,即使如此,他唐突的打岔仍是非常不好的,而且非常不专业。



            不成功的谈话几乎都发生在人与人之间。也正是在对孩子大喊大叫抑或和合作伙伴争吵中,我们忘了去聆听对方想要说的话。轮流说话可以帮助你找出在这种情况下精神上的雷区,让你给对方一到两分钟的时间说出自己的想法。他们说完后你再开 始说。这确实很有效。一些训练并且愿意给双方均等的机会,你会发现很多事一会儿就解决了。因为让人在相对和谐的环境下说完要说的话,而非对着彼此大吵大闹,更容易让化解争端。

            多少次我们打断对方仅仅是因为彼此观点相左?我们一直都在这么做。因为我们是人类,对事物有自己的观点。这完全没 有问题。但你应该知道尽管如此,任何事物都具有两面性。切记,阴和阳,好和坏,对和错!